DOUBT
“The evil men do, lives after them, the good is oft interred with their
bones.”
Wm. Shakespeare: Julius Caesar.
The name of St. Thomas is almost never unaccompanied by the
word Doubting. Sadly that one moment in the life of St.
Thomas has been written in stone and few go beyond it to analyze or sympathize. But the story of Thomas is critical for all
who believe in the Resurrection on faith alone.
Thomas speaks for us all. I can
imagine myself in Thomas’ place asking the Apostles: “Did this really
happen? Are you sure? You didn’t dream it?” The way the account is written makes Thomas
seem stubborn and confrontational but what if Thomas was in tears as he said
it? What if he wanted to believe so much
but simply had to see for himself in case it wasn’t true? He probably felt he couldn’t stand the
heartbreak that would bring. When Jesus appeared next and said, “Come Thomas,
put your fingers in the nail holes and put your hand into my side”. We tend to think of it as a kind of challenge
but what if Jesus had smiled and reached out a hand to Thomas letting him know
that He understood? What if the other
disciples did not hold it against him for not believing them? After all, they didn’t believe Mary Magdalene
when she told them He had risen.
Never fear to doubt.
Doubt means you’re thinking.
Doubt means you care. God
understands doubt. Doubt is not
repudiation but rather an open door to study. The Spirit guides those looking
for answers. In looking for answers we find deeper faith. When you have doubt, enlist the help of the
Holy Spirit and start digging for truth.
As Ezekiel says: “The spirit
entered into me and set me on my feet.”
That is what will happen to you, too, as you seek to know God better.
Incidentally, St. Thomas evangelized in what is now Iran and
went further east and founded the Church in India. It was 400 years before his
body was returned to Rome for proper burial, all because of that pesky title :Doubting Thomas.
Love, Carol
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