A REFLECTION

A REFLECTION 

“How in the world did I get here?”  I imagine everyone in their eighth decade has the same thought when their next birthday looms as mine does shortly.  As I look back on a very long life, all the emotions felt assail me, some of which I would rather not revisit.  But this is about my spiritual life.  

Fr. Richard Rohr wrote an essay in which he described the development of a spiritual life as Order, Disorder and Reorder.  My response to that was “Boy Howdy!”

For me Order was a time when questions were not allowed.

Disorder was a time when there was nothing but questions.

Reorder is the time where no questions are necessary. 

Thus these late years, from a spiritual standpoint, are the easy ones.  I am at peace with God.  I have put my absolute trust in him with the result that I worry a lot less and understand that whatever comes, He will sustain me. I realized through my searching that the very best qualities in humans are the reflection of the presence of the Spirit within us.  I concluded that the harshly judgmental God of my childhood was the creation of humans, men mostly.  They felt powerless and craved control, so they constructed a God who could do what they could not.  

However, Jesus said, “Who has seen me has seen the Father.”  Thereby destroying that image.  God is loving, forgiving, and compassionate and infinitely fair as Jesus proved. 

I learned that what happens, happens and the accidents of living are not God pulling strings.  If I could, I would re-train those who consistently declare that they know the Will of God and those whose faith life is based on superstition and a total misunderstanding of God. 

Living a long life means, as a rule, that one has seen just about everything.  That brings with it understanding, patience and tolerance. I’m embarrassed to say how long it has taken me to reach that state.   

As human lives go, mine has been a Princess Cruise and I pray I have been worth it.

I don’t pretend to have reached perfection, for as Jesus reminds us, “Only the Heavenly Father is perfect.”  I do say, though, that I look forward to meeting God. 

I hope he blocks out a chunk of time for me, because there is a lot I want to say to him, beginning with Thank You.

Blessings on you all, 

Don’t despair. Spring has to come eventually, unless, of course, Summer overtakes it.

Carol Lemelin OPA