Oh God!

OH GOD!

One day when things were slow at the Gate, Peter saw Jesus coming toward him.  “Peter,” said the Lord. “I need your advice.” “Of course Lord” said Peter, “how can I be of service?”  

“Well, I just spent another hour listening to a woman who never stops begging me for things.  I wish I had never told that story about the nagging woman and the judge. (LK 18),because everyone misinterpreted it, the result being people like this woman. I need humans to understand that is not how I work. Instead of them being my assistants, they behave as though I am theirs!” said Jesus.  Peter thought for a minute then said, “It’s too bad no one has any idea of what it is like to be God.”  “Of course!”  Said Jesus. “Peter you are genius.  You know how humans have those Mayor for a Dayevents?  Let’s choose some woman to be God for a day!”  “A woman, Lord? ” asked Peter.  “Yes, after all most of my requests come from mothers and grandmothers,” Jesus said.

It just so happened that the persistent lady was due to arrive in a very short time, so when she did, Peter and Jesus greeted her and told her their plan.  She, of course, was delirious with joy.  Finally, she was getting a chance to show God how he should handle things! They took her to Jesus’ simple office and sat her at his desk. The woman frowned and asked, “What is that annoying noise?”  A disconcerting loud hum filled the room. “That is the sound of the requests coming in.” Peter explained.  

They explained that there are departments for each type of request, such as, Weather, Relationships, Politics, and Sports and her job is to send the requests to the correct department with, denial, approval or other directions.

The first request came from a grandmother in Traverse City who was demanding that God make the next three days perfect because her granddaughter was getting married. The second request came from a Cherry Farmer, also from Traverse City, who demanded that the next three days be rainy because his harvest would be smaller without more rain. 

She sent the grandmother’s request stamped APPROVED to the Weather Department.   She noticed that nearly every request that came in came with an opposite request. She was dizzy trying to answer them.  Then the tone of the messages began to change. The farmer announced he would have to lay off 6 workers and, because the harvest would be poor, he would not be able to make his mortgage payment and it was all God’s fault!  The next messages were all like that  and the God-for-a-Day began to tremble with the weight of the responsibility. Finally, she rang for Peter who appeared instantly.  He found the woman weeping.  She looked up at him and cried, “I had no idea how complicated this is.  How does God do it? “

“God does not answer specific requests, instead he orders each department to send his love, wisdom and grace to the petitioner so they will be able to cope with whatever comes,” replied Peter. 

“Let me go back and tell everyone,” the woman said.  Peter smiled, “God already answered that one. (LK16: 31)Those who have ears to hear should listen.”

Blessings on your New Year,

Carol Lemelin OPA